Is there a way to transcend the human
condition of being controlled by attractions and aversions? Is it possible to be free from the prison of the mind and end
my suffering?
The Buddha taught that there was. Some people living today who I have studied and/or been in the presence
of, such as Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie, Rishi Prabhakar, and Amrit Desai agree with the Buddha and teach techniques that might
help a person experience internal freedom.
Since I began the practice and study of yoga and meditation in 1991, I have
been exposed to the ideas of what can be called self-realization. I found these teachings interesting on some level. However,
I did not really understand the point of spending too much time thinking about it or listening to someone tell me how to get
there because it seemed to good to be true, and I was skeptical that anyone had actually become self-realized or enlightened.
Then,
on August 15, 2010, in the afternoon, while I was washing dishes in my home, I had the following insight: whatever I am doing
is as good a path to happiness as anything else I might be doing in each and every moment.
This insight led to the
understanding that loving what's real—loving all that is in every moment--without exception, unconditionally, is
the only path I know to free myself from the prison of my mind's attachments and aversions and from chronic stress.
Loving
what's real does not imply endorsement of everything that's real. And once I accept what’s real, I am free to
take action to try to change reality in any way if I so choose.
However to preserve the real freedom to act again and
again, I act without attachment to results because my initial perception that any change to reality I try to make will be
positive is just as likely to be wrong as right in both the short and long term--the results of any action I take are never
all in.
These realizations seemed to flip a switch in my mind and for 3 months, I had a continuous experience
of being at peace, content, and relaxed. I was very productive in my work inside and outside my home. (My main job is to be
the stay-at-home dad to 3 girls ages 7, 4, and 2. The 4 year old has Down Syndrome).
It is not that I didn’t feel
tinges and pings and cuts of stress to varying degrees as I lived my life. It is that I was able to process
these tinges, pings, and cuts smoothly and efficiently by recalling the realizations and then moving on.
I felt like
these realizations, which many have had, were for me like learning to ride a bike. All of a sudden, I was balanced. And
I felt like I might not ever forget how to ride. During the 3 months, keeping my balance became easier each day
as I get more skilled at it.
I felt like the grace of this was not getting what I think I wanted but the grace to want
what I already had in any moment.
Living in the Moment for Real
by Gary Halperin
It has been said so many times and in so many ways--the
key to your happiness is to live in the moment, to be present. That paying attention to whatever you are doing while you are
doing it, practicing mindfulness, is a path to contentment.
I think there may be an additional mindset that you can
add to the practice of being present that might unlock a deeper happiness and acceptance of life. This mindset is the understanding,
the knowing for real, that whatever you are doing is as good a path to happiness as anything else you might be doing in each
and every moment.
My normal, rote way of doing tasks I don't like, such as washing dishes, cleaning the house,
or changing a diaper, is to do them as fast as I can in an effort to get to do something I want to do as quickly as possible.
I might practice mindfulness while doing these tasks as quickly as possible, but I have an unconscious belief that what
I am going to do next will be more enjoyable. However, that belief is not reality. In fact, I don't know what I am going
to do next. I might have plans, I might think I know, but life can intervene in infinite ways.
For example, I might
be washing dishes as quickly as possible because I think when I am done I am going to watch a Tampa Bay Rays baseball game
on TV, or I wash the dishes as fast as possible because I unconsciously think that what I am going to do next will be better
because I am going to choose what I do.
However, while I am doing the dishes, maybe a squabble breaks out between two
of my daughters, or I stub my toe while walking to the TV. Or something much worse could happen. Only God knows.
When
my life does not go as I consciously or unconsciously planned, I feel stress. So all day I am setting myself up for a lot
of moments of unhappiness.
This dichotomy--this tension-- between the unconscious thought that "when I am finished
with all that I have to do and get to do what I want to do, then I will feel better" with the reality that many times
I will feel worse when I get done with a task because a new task has presented itself, has been the source of much of the
stress in my daily life. (You might want to read the previous sentence again. It is long, kind of a run on sentence, but I
think it makes sense.)
I am learning to practice a new approach: that when I am doing something I do not want to do,
such as washing dishes, I have no expectation that what I am going to do next will be any more fun or better. I recognize
that I truly do not know what I am going to do in the next moment.
Circumstances can change, and I might stop doing
dishes and do something else, or I might do something after I am done with the dishes that I had not originally planned in
my head consciously or unconsciously.
I believe the rote behavior of doing things I don't want to do as fast as
possible is a never ending source of stress. However, by letting go of the expectation that my life will be better when I
complete my in the moment to-do list, I realize there is nothing to be gained by rushing through any task. I can slow down
AND be mindful of what I am doing and know that this moment is as good as it gets.
I do not feel disappointment and
resentment and stress when one of my daughters asks me for something just as I am finishing the dishes because I had no conscious
or unconscious expectation that this was not going to happen.
Now I am encountering life as it happens--truly practicing
mindfulness without the expectation that the next moment will be better or worse. Now my thoughts are aligned with reality.
Now I am Living in the Moment for Real.
Or to put all this more succinctly, in each moment, all of us are one step away
from both what we would initially perceive as a state ranging from a little more unhappiness to total disaster and a state
ranging from a little more happiness to fulfilling our greatest desire. And our initial perception is just as likely to be
wrong as right in both the short and long term--the results of any event in our lives are never all in. This is, I think,
one of the most relaxing insight I have ever had.
Living
in Flow by Gary Halperin
In the summer of 2010, I vacationed
for 3 days at The Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Lenox, MA, where I was trained as a yoga teacher and where I lived
and worked in community from 1992 to 1995. I had a wonderful visit including about 7 uncontrollable laughing fits. To me there
is nothing more blissful than laughing like that.
Why was I able to access such bliss during my stay?
I would guess it is because how I lived while I was there.
My wife asked me prior to the trip what I was most looking
forward to. I said living my life as a stage 3 kripalu yoga experience: doing what I wanted in each moment. And that is what
I did. So my friend at Kripalu would ask me "what are you doing now?" and I would say "I am bringing this dish
to the dish return." And he would ask "And what are you doing after that?" and I would answer "I don't
know, I will have to see what I feel like doing after I return this dish."
The formal, on the mat, practice of
Stage 3 Kripalu yoga is a unique and personal expression of yoga. Students are encouraged to use their intuition and inner
wisdom to enter a spontaneous flow of postures known as "meditation in motion". One practices the art of moving
in response to the body's internal energy, called prana, with postures flowing from one into the next. This experience
is sometimes described as a state of prayer expressed in movement. Students may move into standard yoga postures or create
new stretches and poses they have never entered before. The experience is akin to improvisational dance and tends to create
a feeling of deep relaxation and inner peace.
So during my stay at Kripalu, I followed my internal energetic guidance
or prana. I was led to Swami Kripalu’s meditation garden, to eating about 6 meals a day (the meal times are 2-2.5 hours
long, i love that spaciousness), to walks around the grounds, to swimming in the lake, to walking the labyrinth, to the sauna
and whirlpool, to emailing my wife and 7-year old daughter, to checking the score of the Tampa Bay Rays games, to chatting
with friends, to doing short bursts of actual stage 3 kripalu yoga, to napping, etc.
Is it possible to live this way
when we are not on a retreat? I think it may be. One strategy is to choose a day or shorter period of time each week that
you will devote to living in the moment, paying attention to your needs, and doing what you feel like doing in each moment.
Ask yourself in each moment "What do I want to do right now?" and then do it, being open to a new idea for action
at anytime.
But what about during our regular life when we can seemingly not always decide what we will do? We have
responsibilities to our work, to our families, to the basic maintenance of our lives. For example, I might not feel like changing
a diaper right now, but I am going to do it anyway. So is it possible to incorporate the spirit of stage 3 Kripalu yoga into
this type of action? Again, I think it may be.
I could choose to change a diaper, wash the dishes, and do the laundry
in a rote way as fast as possible in the hope I might clear space for doing what I want to do. However, I think this path
can lead to exhaustion and resentment because these type of tasks will never end in most of our lives.
Or I can choose
to change a diaper, wash the dishes, and do the laundry in a conscious, maybe slow way, and make micro choices in how I do
them: so that I am doing willful actions with an underlying attunement to stage 3 kripalu yoga philosophy. When I slow down,
I can acknowledge that I can tune in to what I want to do while I am doing things I may not want to do.
So I might decide
to sing while I do any of these tasks or put on music that I like. I might choose to change a diaper or fold laundry in a
different location than usual. I might choose to practice mindfulness while I do these tasks paying full attention to what
I am doing and having an intention to bring my mind back to whatever I am doing whenever I happen to notice my mind has drifted
away.
Or I might decide sometimes to do this type of task in a rote and fast way. But I make this decision consciously,
with awareness, and not out of habit.
Perhaps you wish to experiment with these ideas. Block out some time in your normal
life and see how you feel doing exactly what you want to do. And/or, during your normal life, see what happens when you approach
daily tasks with the spirit of a stage 3 kripalu yoga experience.
You can start right now. What do you want to do? Finish
reading the rest of this article? Stretch in your chair? Get up and move? Have some water? Go outside? What is spirit in this
moment guiding you to do? And now in this moment? If you have the time to read this article, you have the time for a short
stage 3, off the mat, Kripalu yoga experience. Let it happen if you choose right now…
5 Actions at or near your computer to help you Feel
Better Now
by Gary Halperin
1. Smile.
Turn up the corners of your mouth for 2 to 20 seconds.
2. Move. Choose one or two of these
movements or create your own:
Lift your arms
over year head
Dance in your chair
Stand up and do a yoga posture
Stretch in anyway that feels good
Walk around your office or to another room
3. Drink
8 ounces of the best tasting water you to which you currently have access.
4. Take 5
deep breaths of the freshest air available. Open the closest window or go outside and breathe.
5.
Think of 5 things you are grateful for in this moment.
("5 actions"
adopted for computer use and modified from this article
Enjoy the video below starring my 3 daughters:
FIVE ACTIONS YOU CAN DO AT YOUR DESK TO FEEL BETTER NOW...
)
Why Wait? Feel Better Now with Yoga and Meditation
by Gary Halperin
I teach Kripalu yoga classes and lead meditation groups in Sarasota.
Lately, I have participated in several versions of the following conversation:
"I really
want to start yoga. Right now my life is so crazy though. When things calm down, I will come to a class."
"Really?" I reply. "May I make a suggestion?"
"Sure."
"Giving yourself the gift of an hour a week of yoga class may be a help in calming your life down."
"That is a good point. Thank you. I will think about that."
And off the person
goes. About 1 in 5 of these people come to a class. I hope the rest find what they need elsewhere.
People
often express to me that they will start yoga or learn to meditate when their life feels less stressed. What happens is that
eventually their life will calm down, and then they think "Look at that. I did not need yoga or meditation after all.
My life is in control."
Unfortunately (and fortunately), the roller coaster ride of life
will continue. Yoga and/or meditation can help you balance out the peaks and valleys. If you have an inclination to try yoga
or meditation, the time to start is now--however you are feeling in your life.
I have such respect
for anyone who goes to a yoga or meditation class for the first time. In my opinion, these are special souls on the cutting
edge of personal transformation in our society. To try a class, you must first have the thought that yoga or meditation may
be good for you. Then you have to use will power and strength to overcome the understandable fear of trying something new
with a group of people you don’t know.
My favorite yoga and meditation classes are those
in which getting to class is the hardest part of the class. Once you arrive, you are invited to listen to your body, go at
your own pace, and have your own private, personal experience. You are invited to practice trusting your intuition
I encourage you to trust your intuition right now. So if the voice inside is telling you to try yoga or meditation,
get up and find a class. Now.
The Essence of Kripalu Yoga
By Gary Halperin
I am often asked, "What is Kripalu Yoga?"
Kripalu Yoga teaches breathing, stretching, and relaxation techniques while emphasizing the practices of being present,
listening to one’s body, and accepting where one is today in terms of flexibility, strength, and alignment.
I know that a person can really only know the essence of Kripalu Yoga by experiencing a Kripalu Yoga class. Below
are excerpts from my own Kripalu yoga class to give you a glimpse of a Kripalu experience.
Imagine
yourself in a peaceful yoga studio hearing these words:
"In this class, we are going to be
feeling sensations in our bodies, we are going to be breathing, and we are going to be hearing my voice. The idea is to keep
our attention and focus in this room—to pay attention to things that are happening now. When you notice that your mind
has wandered to something that is not happening now, bring your mind back to something that is."
"If
there is something in the class that does not feel right for your body, then wait for the next stretch that does feel right.
This is your own private, personal experience. No one is judging you."
"We are consciously
creating sensations in our bodies and bringing our awareness to those sensations."
"Part
of doing yoga is doing things we don’t normally do with the body and then noticing what that feels like."
"This is your last chance at this moment—see if you can be fully present in your body."
"As you lie on your back, give yourself full permission to do nothing in this moment."
Any yoga class will give you the benefits of strength and flexibility, Kripalu yoga also teaches you to love and
accept yourself.
"Words of Wisdom"
I...why?
O
Wind, If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind? (Shelley)
Simplify, simplify (Thoreau)
There is a certain slant of light winter afternoons, that oppresses like the heft of cathedral tunes (Emily
Dickinson)
To me every hour of the light and dark is a miracle, Every cubic inch of space
is a miracle (Walt Whitman)
A miracle drug is any drug that will do what the label says it
will do
It is not wise to be wiser than is necessary
Life
is what happens when we make other plans
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in
the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all. (Emily Dickinson)
Better
is the enemy of good (Voltaire)
There is no great genius without a touch of madness (Seneca)
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection
of children...to find the best in others...To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have
succeeded. (Emerson)
The uncertainity you feel inside is the doorway to wisdom (Deepak Chopra)
Patience is genius
Believe in yourself. Someone has to make
the first move.
And in the end, the love we take is equal to the love we make (the Beatles)
For us, there is only the trying, the rest is not our business (T.S. Eliot)
My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness (The Dalai Lama)
Character
is how we act when we think no one is looking
What is the thing called health? Simply a state
in which the individual happens transiently to be perfectly adapted to his enviroment. Obviously, such states cannot be common,
for the environment is in constant flux. (H.L. Mencken)
Measure your health by your sympathy
with morning and Spring. (Thoreau)
The things which hurt, instruct (Benjamin Franklin)
What doesn't kill you will make you stronger
Don't take anything
too seriously
Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others can not keep it from themselves
Often action leads to motivation, not the other way around
Beauty
is Truth and Truth is Beauty and that is all we need to know
Be not afraid of greatness:
some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them. (Shakespeare)
Be
bold and the universe lines up behind you
Every moment is a gift--that is why it is called
"the present"
Feel the fear...and do it anyway
Ships
in harbor are safe but that is not what ships are for
PLEASE EMAIL ME TO SUGGEST YOUR OWN
FAVORITE QUOTE(S) TO ADD TO THE LIST
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